My run-in with a Red-Neck… or “kill ‘em with kindness”

Let me first say, my son Michael and I eat breakfast at Hardees almost every weekend. We make it a point to go out and pickup doughnuts for the girls and a Sunday newspaper for Mom and we always stop for breakfast first.

Today, Michael drove to Hardees and we pulled into the parking lot right behind this Red-Neck (to use a nice term for the guy) in a big blue truck. Mike was excited because his “favorite” parking spot was open and he pulled in right next to the Red-Neck.

We got out and headed for the newspaper rack. After getting the paper we headed into the restraint and got in line right behind this guy. I could tell immediately that he was already in a pissy mood. You know the type… he was fidgeting with agitation and he only just stepped into the line. There were maybe 2 or 3 people ahead of us and as we stood in line I pulled out the ads from the paper I wanted to look at first.

After agreeing to get our “usual” (a Texas Toast combo with ham, large country potatoes and a diet coke plus two extra Texas Toast sandwiches with ham) Mike took the rest of the paper and the comics and picked a seat.

The cashier was a nice guy who is very competent, as I’ve said before, we go here all the time and he was dealing with the idiot customer in front of the Red-Neck and having issues communicating with her. He asked her three times if her order was for “here” or “to go” and she couldn’t understand what he was asking… the Red-Neck got even more impatient and threw in his two cents when the cashier turned to get the ladies order by saying “try not to confuse him”.

What?!? Like SHE was confusing HIM?? She looked homeless and couldn’t figure out what “here” or “to go” meant.

Anyway, he made his order, paid and took his coffee cut and walk away from the counter. I moved up, placed my order, paid and went to fill up my soda cup. I took a few sips and walked over to the table Mike had picked and gave him the cup. I turned around, with my ads in hand, and headed back to the end of the line to stand out of the way and wait for my order.

The Red-Neck had placed his coffee cup on another table and then walked to the trashcan. When I had turned around and headed back to the end of the line he was walking back to his table and we crossed paths. He stopped, I said “sorry” and walked on.

I took my spot out of the way and flipped trough my ads. Nothing really stood out, by the way, at least not from Best Buy or Target. The lady who was in front of the Red-Neck and me was waiting at the counter for her order and the Red-Neck was behind me. When the lady got her order, she turned around to walk past me and I heard the Red-Neck say “make room for people with food”.

I did not realize that he was talking to me. I thought I was out of the travel lane for everyone exiting the line but what I did not know was that behind me and to the left were two really Big Boys, also waiting for their food. Between the three of us, there wasn’t a lot of room. The two Big Boys moved out of the ladies way but the bigger of the two said to the guy “hold on there buddy”. He was obviously upset about this Red-Neck standing behind him making noise.

At this point, I realized this guy was just an unhappy dick-head and I was going to do my best just to ignore him. The two Big Boys were not very happy as the Red-Neck pushed his way past all three of us to wait at the counter for his food.

When he got his food he turned and said to me “why don’t you go sit down to read your paper”. What the F#$&? What did I do to this Red-Neck dumb ass?

I lifted my papers and he walked by. At this point, the bigger of the two Big Boys spoke up and said… “why not try “excuse me”? And as the Red-Neck walked by he said “@$$hole”.

I turned to the Big Guy and said, “hey, don’t worry about it. He’s been a dick since he walked into the place”.

I then got our food and went back to the table to sit down with Mike. As we ate, I looked around the dining area and saw the Red-Neck sitting by himself in the back corner. I kept thinking to myself how painful it must be to be so angry and mean. I actually felt bad for the Red-Neck. He had such a mean attitude and there he was, sitting all by himself. Then I thought, that’s what he deserved.

Before we finished, the Red-Neck finished his breakfast, got up and left the restraunt. I was relieved to know he was gone but I watched for his truck to leave… and it didn’t.

A few minutes later, Mike and I finished, deposited our trash, refilled our drink and headed out to the van. We stopped and held the door for a couple and then stepped off the sidewalk…

I was kind of shocked to see the big blue truck was still parked next to my van and as we walked toward it the reverse lights came on. The Red-Neck had gone out and sat in his truck. Was he waiting for us? Did he want to start something? Guess not because as I hurried my step. Yes, I will admit it… I walked quickly so that as he was pulling out of the parking spot, I was standing right behind his truck… and made him wait on me.

He leaned back and looked out the back of the trucks rear window right at me and I slowed down my step and smiled right back at him.

He was pissed and I could see it in his face. As I walked past the back of his truck and out of the way I graciously held out my hand to “guide” him out of his parking spot. He kept his eyes on me the entire time and my $h!t-eating grin only got bigger and bigger.

By the time he pulled out of the parking spot I was laughing at his dumb @$$ and waved good bye to him as he pulled away.

Priceless.

We followed him out and to the light in which he went left and we went straight. I was laughing the entire time.